Model UN | Weblog

The end of an era. We will miss you, Sean Neesley. You will always be a part of Model UN. Keep it alive in New Zealand!!!

-Jeff

hahahahahaha awesome

Courtesy of www.toothpastefordinner.com

Excerpt from Warren’s Diary about the Princess Diaries:

What an awesome movie!

-Warren

Excerpt from Alex’s Diary:

Alex wondered - “how did Jeff type so much?  Didn’t his fingers hurt after practicing guitar for so long?”

Excerpts from Jeff’s diary, pt.2:

9/8/2005

Warren: there should be a pervy-ass instrument called a hormone-ica.
Jeff: ha
Jeff: a harmonica shaped like a penis
Warren: I’m gonna put that in my liverjournal, that’s honest
Jeff: but you’d never want it tuned to Bb
Jeff: GET IT
Jeff: GET IT
Jeff: Bb!
Jeff: be flat!
Jeff: buahahahhahahahaha
Warren: yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah
Warren: have a nice life
Jeff: warren!?
Jeff: what?!
Jeff: oh, forget you, pal!
Jeff: i’m a genius!

9/24/2005

I put this on craigslist:

THIS IS NOT A SEXUAL REQUEST. I DO NOT WANT SEX. PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR SEX.

I’m looking for a group of 4 or 5 hipster/scenester girls to jump on my bed for 15-20 minutes one day a week. I don’t care what you look like, as long as there is a tattoo or three in the mix.

All of you girls will be jumping up and down together on my bed. I will NOT join in. I will instead be slouched in the corner of the room watching you as I have a good cry. You will point at me and laugh (not with me, but at me) while I sob.

The louder you laugh the louder I cry. If you’d like you can bring small rocks to throw at me, as well. Please keep in mind that this is not a sad cry…its a good, healthy cry!

The reason I’m making this unusual request is because I’d like to move on with my life. You see…I’ve graduated college, yet I still think about scenester/hipster girls often. When I see one, I get distracted and lose focus on my daily goals. I think watching these girls jump on my bed while they point and laugh at me will put a symbolic end to my collegiate failures. Let me know if you can help.

Refreshments will be available before and after the cry. Smoothies, cheese and cracker platter, and chips&salsa will be provided. Looking forward to your response!

9/26/2005

An Open Letter to Tim McGraw:

Hi Tim,

Please go to hell and die. I don’t know who let you be on Monday Night Football but please pick them up in your stupid hick truck and take them with you.

I have an ultimatum for you, Timmy. For every rendition of your piece of shit song “I Like It, I Love It” that I hear at the halftime of a Monday Night Football I will kill Faith Hill. So, let’s look at it mathematically:

rG= remaining games
fsS= your fucking stupid song on Monday Night Football
n= # of times i will kill Faith Hill

rG x fsS = n

It’s really quite simple, Tim. If you don’t want me to kill your wife multiple times then please cease doing mind-numbing, football parodied versions of your horrible, soul sucking song.

In fact, if you stop by next week, not only will i spare your wife. I will promise to kill three (3) of your major label country singing rivals. It’s not a lose-lose, Timothy. I can help you.

Think about it.

Hugs and Kisses,

Jeff Givens

11/8/2005

you poeple should learn to stay up late and party with me. i live an exciting AWESOME life and all of you fail. i hate all of you. not really. just stay up longer and play with me. i’m lonely. i’ll bake cookies and we can sing to britney. LOL. and then we can cuddle and talk about boys. OMG. let’s do it! then as we fall asleep and we keep asking questions but it’s hard to understand because we’re dozing off i can get up and watch you fall asleep. teehee! then while you sleep i’ll promise to be with you always and NEVER EVER LEAVE YOU BECAUSE I NEED YOU. WHY DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I NEED YOU?! YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME!!! I’LL NEVER LET YOU. YOU’RE MINE FOREVER! and after we wake up we can have pancakes! mmmmmmm! pancakes! we’ll have so much fun, LOL-ERSKATES!!!!!
8-)

i was helping out someone with a paper on federalism vs. anti-federalism. here’s the paragraph:

so madison was all “blah blah blah centralized power” and jefferson was all “bitch, state’s need more power” and madison was all “you da bitch, jeffers..i’ll take you outback and teach you about CENTRALIZED POWER UP YO STATE POWER ASS” and jefferson was all “i’ll get benny franklin to beat yo ass except he with his baby mama in france..but sheeit, i need to go clean up my baby mama biznass, ya heard?” and madison be “sheeeit, yeah, dawg, dos whats yous got to.”

what do you think? guaranteed A+++++ Great Seller. Would Buy Again! LMAOROTFLOMGLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

so tomorrow night? my place? bring your PJ’s and a sleeping bag! it’s gonna be you and me and a P-A-R-T-Y like you’ve never known before!!!!!

<3 your bff,

jeffers

Video by Aaron Vasquez.  Thanks, Aaron!

-Warren

View high resolution

Spaghetti w/ homemade red sauce and fresh basil. We also made spinach salad w/ raspberry vinaigrette and baked asparagus.

Warren

Voxtrot Calls it Quits →

Despite some of the (mostly my) personal opinions of this band this came as a bit of a shock. They had a long tenure as one of the prominent bands here in Austin. I’ve met Jason on multiple occasions and seen him play in multiple bands and he always was nothing but gracious and kind. I wish I could say the same for every member of that band but some bad run-ins have left me sour. Oh well. Best wishes.

-Jeff

[note: not actually jeff in the photo. -j]

Excerpts from Jeff’s diary, pt.1:

6/6/2009

Sean [Neesley] was mean to me today. Burn down his house later. LOL ! 972754**** 211pm [note: no clue what the phone number or timestamp is for. - j]

10/13/2009

Every time Becca says fiancee we drink. Remember this for Trivia team name!

01/28/2010

Met a girl today. Her dog has multiple talents! Not only can she speak Spanish but she can run background checks!. AWESOME! I wish my cat had skillz like that. All he does is look handsome and plot the deaths of people who sleep in my apartment. Mostly Alex.

01/29/2010

I ran a background check on myself. Not really. I just searched myself in Google. Other people with my name: Realtor in Dallas, a connoisseur of horses in Tennessee, some random dude on fishing forums, and a terrible singer songwriter [note: not me! - j]

3/21/2010

“One of the benefits of global warming and international terrorism is that people want to holiday in England.” - Alan Partridge

3/30/2010

Wilford Brimley: American Hero

4/9/2010

I had a dream where I was an undercover FBI agent. My job was to infiltrate a party ran by a German in Hawaii. Then I had to pretend to be an inept weapons runner to get to the Russian warlord. The warlord’s assassin (who was also an undercover FBI agent) was this Asian chick. It was an awesome dream.

View high resolution

Homemade veggie burgers. The patty has butter beans, green onions, and Anaheim peppers. On top we have fresh spinach, sauteed bell peppers, and cremini mushrooms.

FOOD BLOGGIN’.

-Warren